Fear of the Scale

Throughout my journey to being fit, there is one element that has been a constant battle for me. The scale. If you have followed me on social media, you know that I started (again) nearly 6 years ago with Weight Watchers. One of my major issues with the program is that you have to step on the scale once a week. If the number went down, it indicated success. If it went up, it meant that something went wrong that week. Well, I've come a long way since then and thank goodness I know better now. Unfortunately, I still have a unhealthy fear of the scale. So, for awhile, I just didn't weigh myself. I did fine. I stayed healthy. But I put on weight. About 10-15 pounds. At the time, my clothing fit a little tighter, but my size stayed basically the same. I can't say that it would have continued that way.

When 80 Day Obsession came out, it was exactly what I needed to kick my body and mind back in gear. I learned a lot about myself. One of the biggest lessons was that if I kept myself from getting hungry and ate the right foods all day long, I didn't crave sugar and I could kick my sugar addiction. Another lesson . . . I needed to keep track of my progress. So really the weekly weigh ins with Weight Watchers had some value. At least I knew what was happening with one number. However, weekly weigh-ins are not as helpful for me. Every time I added a workout to my week, I would gain weight that week. It was discouraging. So now, I weigh myself at the beginning and then end of each Beachbody Program I do. This helps, but the fear of stepping on the scale and seeing the number go up is very real.

The group I am participating in on Facebook with Autumn Calabrese is called Path to Progress. It's another group that runs through Autumn's programs and ends with 80 Day Obsession. She's teaching us how to use the timed nutrition eating plan from 80 Day Obsession with her other programs. I appreciate that she is willing to support so many people and take time out of her days to chat with us through Facebook Live. Leaving 80 Day Obsession behind after being 100% on point through the whole thing was a big challenge. I floundered. I lost some control. I worked out every day but took a couple extra rest days and let my life get in the way of my goals a little bit. I feared the scale today, knowing that I needed the number to make sure I use the right calorie bracket for the next program starting tomorrow. I stepped on the scale.

I knew that the chances of me staying at my ending weight with 80 Day Obsession were not high. I had done a deplete week the last week of the program so I knew I would at least gain back some of what I lost that week. This morning, when I was getting ready to step on the scale, I mentally prepared to see a huge weight gain. I thought for sure I had screwed myself by relaxing my nutrition. Well, I didn't really screw myself, I maintained the weight that I had ended at before deplete week. This was good news, but also a little disappointing. I am really glad that I didn't lose all of my results from 80 Day Obsession. I knew that I hadn't because my strength has continued to increase. I'm disappointed that I didn't stay focused and strive to lose more. I'm not where I want to be. I don't have number in mind, but I have a general range. I'm not there yet. So, I faced my fear of the scale and got the number to calculate my calorie bracket for the next program. Tomorrow I start 21 Day Fix Extreme. My goal for this program is to stick to the nutrition at least 95% of the time. If I treat myself, I will plan for it. I will use the containers for those treats. I don't set weight goals on principle, however, for this next program I'm setting a goal to see the number on the scale go down and the inches in my measurements to go down as well. I have already proven to myself that I can do this with hour long workouts and 100% dialed in nutrition. I can do this for a 3 week program. It's 30 minutes of my day and preparing food for the weeks. I've got this.

The greatest lesson I learned in 80 Day Obsession is that my best option is to do the program, trust the process, and see what happens. Someday, I'll be able to do that and not fear the number on the scale. That is my ultimate goal.

I'm ready! Bring it on!